Scripture Case Pattern

Thursday, March 15, 2012

What did YOU do last Sunday night?

Me?? I grew a biggy.  Seriously, though.  I really did.  Here's how it went down.

Wednesday, March 7, I went to the doctor, he looked at my finger, and saw that there was still no progress. He scheduled me for surgery for Monday.

Sunday, March 11 night at 11:00, I was changing my bandages (like I do daily) and taking a final look at my finger.  It looked exactly the same.  There was no new skin growth up top; spaces were still without any skin; the scabs (that were supposed to have fallen off on their own 4 weeks previously) were still as stuck on as ever and showing no sign of wanting to come off (which is a sign of no new tissue growth underneath).  I tell Tim to remind me to take pictures of it once we get to the hospital.

Monday, March 12 I arrive at the hospital at 7:00 AM.  At about 9:00, I'm finally ready to for surgery. The nurses come and talk to me, my doctor chats with me, and then the anesthesiologist talks to me for a bit, then the next thing I know, I'm getting a tube yanked out of my throat and the nurse informs me I got to keep my finger. I look at her all confused, ask her what does she mean, she tells me the doctor said I could keep it so he cleaned it up really well and sent me on my way.  She tells me I was under for a total of 12 minutes.  I ask her if I can talk to the doctor and she tells me that he's back in surgery, but my husband will have more details.  I look at my finger and see just a regular bandaid on it.  I cry out of joy, confusion, frustration, anger, and pretty much every other feeling there is. I was sooooo ready for the amputation.  I wanted the amputation.  I had so many jokes planned that I now wouldn't be able to say or do. WHY DID HE LEAVE MY FINGER!? Just take the damn thing already and let me move on!!

There's a space of time that I don't remember anything, but somewhere and somehow Tim has arrived in a new room that I have been brought to. He gives me the low down on what went on.  Once I was under and he numbed my hand, Dr. Fryer started removing the last bit of scabs and checking out the area to see what he had to work with. As he was working on it, he saw that skin had grown where there wasn't any skin 5 days previously, and I had a complete nail growing where there had been no nail bed left.  I had a finger that was going to make it, so he cleaned it up really well and was done.  Tim says Dr. Fryer was SO happy and excited when he came to tell Tim.  Tim kept asking him, "are you sure? Because she's ready for the amputation.  She WANTS the amputation. 5 days ago you were all for the amputation. ARE YOU SURE?"  Dr. Fryer said, "if it was my finger, I wouldn't amputate.  I am completely sure it's good to stay."

When I got home, I took off the bandaid, and saw a completely different finger.  I scolded myself for not taking off the bandage and taking pictures of it before I went into surgery. I know that it was looking different because the scabs were gone, but there was skin in places that there hadn't been just 12 hours previously.  I still can't quite wrap my head around it.  My finger looks so different.  It's still got a ways to go until it looks decent, but that will all happen with with time.  I still haven't gotten to talk to Dr. Fryer, and won't be able to until the 27th.  I'm excited to hear what his thoughts were during all this.

Tim had given me a blessing after I had my first procedure.  He told me in the blessing that the finger would take and that it would heal and look really good.  I felt so sure that what he said was true.  Then, when the doctor said it wasn't healing, I thought that maybe I understood the blessing wrong and what was really said was that my finger, in general, would heal and look fine. The thing is, though, is that I kept telling myself, "I've got until Monday.  Things can still change.  I've got time.  Maybe the doctor will see a change in the operating room."  And that he did.

I know that I would have been totally fine even if it got amputated.  I was ready for it.  I just wasn't looking forward to all the pain again. But I'm so glad that I was given the opportunity to witness a miracle. I  know that this was the work of the Lord. I have no doubt.  I am extremely blessed to have had things go this way.  People keep saying, "Wow! Someone is looking after you!"  I feel bad when people say that, because it makes it seem as though the Lord isn't looking after those that do have to go through an amputation, which I know isn't true.  For me, the Lord needed to me to go through the entire process.  I needed to go through believing that my finger would heal, get an allergic reaction to the antibiotics that put me on my back for 4 days, get C. difficile that made me sicker than I've ever been in my life and losing 8 lbs in 2 days during it (and I'm still trying to gain the weight back), then accepting that my finger wouldn't heal, then accepting that I would have to get it amputated, and go all the way to the operating room and be put under anesthesia.  That entire time, I knew that I was in the Lord's hands and that everything would be ok, no matter what the outcome.  And for some reason, Heavenly Father needed me to witness this miracle.  For those that still had to go through an amputation, it wasn't because Heavenly Father wasn't looking out for them, it's because Heavenly Father needed them to go through that specific trial.  Now I know, that if it ever comes down to it (again), and I have to lose my finger, I am more than ready.

So, that's my story and hopefully the end of this whole finger saga.  I know I'm sure over it.

Pictures can be found HERE


Lindsay said...

How amazing! That is so cool, I am so glad to hear it. Yay! What a crazy experience, wow! I'm really happy for you though!

Whitney said...

This is so awesome! I'm glad you get to keep your finger! Those pictures are freaky, but yes, it looks a lot better! YAY!

Terri @ that's some good cookin' said...

Well written, Trishy. I'm so glad that you have put the story here on your blog. I'm going to copy it and put it in our family book of blessings. Did you know that I have kept copies of some of the back-to-school blessings from when you guys were in elementary school?

Last night I had told you that this is a foundational event for faith and courage and an absolute knowledge that Heavenly Father and his Son, Jesus Christ are real and that they know you. You will have occasions in your life to look back on this time and have it burn brightly as a beacon of testimony--your own personal pillar of fire by night and cloud of smoke by day; your guide and your protection throughout your life.

Anita said...

wow, seriously that is the most amazing story ever!!! i am so happy for you that your finger grew back. you are so amazing!! i so sorry about what even happen to you. so crazy. those pictures are crazy too.