Scripture Case Pattern

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Omen

Considering my past, I should have seen my finger incident coming.  Seriously.

Some of you, or maybe most of you, already know this about me, but I will fill the rest of you in on a little Tricia History.  In 11th grade, I dated a boy that had his finger torn off in 6th grade.  He was jumping over a chain-linked fence, and his CTR ring got caught and ripped his finger off from the second joint up. It wasn't able to to be reattached.  My very next boyfriend had his leg amputated (right below the knee) when he was in 11th grade.  He was  in a street luging accident.  His foot was reattached, but it wasn't healing  properly, so he was given the choice to undergo multiple extensive surgeries that would leave him more or less crippled or he could amputate.  He definitely chose the better option (you can read more about his story HERE).  

So, it's totally weird that I dated two amputees in a row.  I bet there's hardly anyone out there that can say that (besides the ones that married an amputee, but even then...did you date TWO amputees in a row??).  Even though my accident isn't as nearly as horrific as either of my former boyfriends, knowing them prepared me for this.  I'll be completely honest with you.  I freaked out when I saw my finger and the bone sticking out of it. I wish that I had been calm and super collected during all of it, but I wasn't.  I knew the pain boyfriend #2 had gone through, and I knew that mine would be lesser but still excruciating...and I was right.  My thought process went something like (after I finally figured out what exactly I was looking at):

1.  You've GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!?  Seriously!? After all the hard work I put into Mist, now this happens right at the beginning!?

2.  Oh my gosh...my finger is gone...this is going to hurt sooooo bad! OH MY GOSH!! The pain is going to come and I'm going to flip!

3.  FREAK! Seriously! RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING OF MIST!!! I was doing so well!! F--- this! (actually, I really thought the letter "F" and not the real word! That's how Utah I am!  AND...I didn't swear ONCE during this whole thing, and on the way to the hospital, while trying to keep myself under control, I noted that out loud to the people in the car who then looked at me like I was crazy.  :))

4.  Wait a second...was God trying to prepare me for this by having me date two amputees? AH!! Why did I do that!? I brought this upon myself! I suck!!

5.  Oh my gosh...I can feel the bone digging into the palm of my hand, this is so gross.  I want to puke.  My finger is gone and I can feel the bone in my palm... I SAW the bone... eeeeewwwww....AAAAAHHHH!!!

6.  ...Aaaaand, here's the pain, and it's worse than I thought it would be.  

7.  I'm going to have a gross finger... this sucks.  Wait, Mike's finger wasn't gross and Chris' leg wasn't gross either, but I'm sure mine is going to be gross, because I saw the bone, and it's just going to be gross. I don't want a gross finger.

During this whole time all the way until I finally got numbed up at the hospital, I kept telling myself that it could have been so much worse and that I personally know two people where it was much worse and they're fine.  They made it through stronger than before. If they can do it, then I can make it through this too, and life will go on; my finger won't be ugly, but unique and will have a cool story to go along with it, just like Mike's finger and Chris' leg.  Those were some of the things I loved most about them.

(Please don't get the wrong impression of me...I was in no way brave or strong through out this ordeal.  I cried... A LOT.  I freaked out.  I went into shock which freaked me out even more because I didn't realize how shock affects (effects?) the body.   I couldn't understand why my other arm was completely numb when that was the one that was completely healthy. When I saw all the blood all over my jacket, Rebecca's jacket, and the ER floor, I almost passed out because there was sooooo much blood, and it was still dripping. I was a basket case until the doctor numbed my hand and I couldn't feel the pain anymore. And even then, when Rebecca and Tatjana had to leave the room so I could get some X-rays done, I looked up and saw across the room the bag with my finger in it, and I started to cry a little and hyperventilate until they were able to come back inside the room with me.  I didn't dare look at my finger since that first look right when it happened...before there was any blood or pain.  I finally looked at it again half way through the procedure the next day, when the doctor had covered up all the bone and exposed grossness.  I wish I had been a lot more composed.  Maybe next time.)

So...Moral of the story...if you have a chance to date an amputee or two, don't do it.  You'll most likely end up like them in the future.  Just sayin'.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Finger updates

I had a couple of finger appointments yesterday. My finger, in my mind, looks absolutely disgusting, but the doctor was glad to see it looked exactly how he expected it to look.  Even though it's gross looking, it's not infected and it's not looking worse than it should at this point.  There's still a high chance of the skin not healing, though.  We won't know for sure what the final outcome of my finger will be (either it will heal just fine or it will need to be cut down to right below the first knuckle) for another two weeks.  I go in for that appointment on Feb. 15.  I also went to the physical therapist who fitted me for a splint. YAY!  I can use so much more of my hand now.  I don't have a ginormous amount of gauze and tape on my finger and hand.  I've also been cleared to work again. :)  If you want to see updated gross finger pictures, you can check them out HERE (<--- click on it...I dare you!).

Do you want to read something eerie and crazy?  Check out this post my mom did on her blog...  As she was getting ready to post this particular recipe and the story that accompanied about almost losing her pinky when she was 3, she got the call from Tim informing them about my accident.  Just go read it.  Go HERE.

Hurr are pics of my new, hot, and functional splint: