Scripture Case Pattern

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Lets discuss...

I want to know what your thoughts are on holidays...mostly gift giving holidays. Do you like to celebrate birthdays, anniversary's, Christmas, valentines, mother's and father's day? Do you like to give gifts to your spouse on those days?  Do you appreciate it if your spouse reciprocates it? Would you be bummed if your spouse felt it unnecessary to do anything for you on your birthday, anniversary or mother's/father's day?  Do you think it's ridiculous to have designated days to celebrate life, each other, being parents, etc or do you feel it's important to celebrate those days?  If you're not much for celebrating, but your spouse is, do you respect the fact that celebrations mean something to them and try to do that for them, or have you let them know that you don't really feel like doing that kind of stuff and therefore aren't really going to do anything special for them on those days? Now add kids into the equation...if you're not really into gift giving, do you feel it's important to teach your kids to give gifts and celebrate others and special occasions?   Let me know ALL your thoughts on this topic.

8 comments:

Lindsay said...

Holidays are good, but over-rated I think, (if we're delving into personal opinions here...) I like to celebrate the big ones (Christmas, Easter, 4th of July, Thanksgiving) with family definitely. But presents are really only a big deal to me for Christmas. All the other holidays are perfectly enjoyed with lots of yummy food and family gatherings. Even on my birthday I'd even just be happy going out on a nice date with my hubby. When money's tight (when is it not?), I think presents are over-rated. Mother's day and Father's day are nice to be remembered with something small or a nice gesture or something I guess. My husband's family is super-holiday oriented with gifts expected and attendance pretty much required to every calendar holiday. It's way different than the way I was raised, so that's tricky sometimes, but yeah. I like to be a little more low-key when it comes to holidays. Especially now as a mom. So there you have it...what's your take on the whole thing?

Courtney said...

I love holidays and celebrating all of them. I love to give thoughtful gifts, and I love receiving thoughtful gifts. Mother's and Father's day are a way to show we appreciate our parents, so I think something small to say thanks for everything they have done is perfect. I think it is important to teach our kids to remember us as their parents by setting the example of giving something small to our parents and to each other, just to show we appreciate each other. Anniversary is a celebration of the couple, so I like to do dinner and something small for each other, especially when it is not a big anniversary, which we haven't had a big one yet. We just get each other something we know the other one would want but would never buy for themselves. Birthdays are hard because everyone in my family including my husband and daughter all have birthdays in April, so we go broke in April if we get something big for everyone. So we mostly just do gifts for my hubby and baby and the rest of the family just gets a card and candy or something under $10 to show we remember them and care about them. Christmas is big time, and I love it. I just love celebrating everything, and if I had all of the money in the world I would love to get everyone amazing gifts for every occasion they deserve them, but that's just not in the cards. I also love getting together with family for holidays, but that can't always be possible, but we definitely get together for Christmas and Thanksgiving with one or the other family.

Laura said...

I love Holidays and celebrating, but I stress about presents which can take the fun out of a holiday for me, if I am spending all the time trying to find the right thing or something I can afford.

Holidays are bigger deals in my family than in my husbands, and that's actually been hard at times, because I would expect something, anything, and hubby just would not think it was that important, and then I'd feel unloved. Yes, my family are gift givers, his are not.
I think I have trained him that I like something on the holidays, but just having the kids make me a card on mothers day or my birthday is enough. It doesn't have to be store-bought at all, especially if it's a drawing or something handmade, it's even better I think.

I like the holidays because it gives my hubby (who isn't the type to just come home with flowers, pre-plan dates and all that) a reason to do those things. Yes, maybe it's contrived, but it's nice nonetheless to kick him in the rear and get him thinking about me!

Sarah Robbins said...

My husband I had a discussion about this prior to getting married after reading something about the "unspoken rules" in the relationship. We don't see things exactly the same, but we've come to compromises about each holiday that so at least we know what to expect and aren't disappointed (with the exception of mothers' day since we never talked about that one, so I got nothing this year but made it clear that I at least need a card or flowers or SOMETHING seeing as how it took so freakin' much to get me to mothers' day!). But if I got/gave gifts for every holiday we'd go broke and have a bunch of junk neither of us really wanted.

Sarah Robbins said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Whitney said...

While I love and appreciate my parents, I don't ever really take the time to show them - so things like birthdays and Mothers/Fathers Day are good for me to do SOMETHING.
And I've received MANY gifts that were bought without time or thought put into them (and it's pretty easy to tell), so I try REALLY hard to find something that I know the person will use/enjoy/appreciate. I love to give gifts. And I love to receive gifts (mostly I don't want big things, there are days when Tyson tells me "I bought you a present" and he comes home with my favorite candy for our movie night - candy, flowers, small easy things are the things that I love).
AND I really think that cards are overrated. So this year, I've stopped buying cards and started writing birthday notes to tell the person how much they mean to me, instead of wasting $4 on a stupid card that they don't really care about or keep.

So I guess the point that I'm trying to get across is - it all depends on the THOUGHT put into these holidays and the things that are given.

the MuLLinS said...

Okay I thought I had responded, but I love this post because I feel like asking this so many times. I LOVE surprises. I would love for Evan to surprise me with something on Valentines Day, Mothers Day, my Birthday and Christmas. And it doesn't have to be something he bought, in fact more important than a gift from the store would be a gift of time or service. A clean house. A day off from work so we could have more time together. A footrub. Those kinds of things mean way more than anything he could buy at the store, but I know as much as the next guy that time is not something that we're real abundant in around here so a small but not worthless gift is so nice every once in a while. Evan is from a family where they give crap thrift store presents (stuff they've accumulated and then grabbed from the closet to give you SOMETHING) so presents and holidays mean a totally different thing to him than to me. I like to make things a bigger deal just because it's fun to do that every once in a while. I don't know, it's a tough balance to find. My feelings are hurt when he doesn't do anything for me for the special holidays, even though I know he loves me. And he sucks at being creative and sneaky so I never get any awesome surprises which kills me- neither is he good at recieving surprises which kills me. I'm getting to the point that I'm able to get over it but :( I wish there was a Date Doctor or whatever Will Smith was on Hitch to come help my husband in that area :) But, otherwise he is so good to me that I feel I shouldn't complain. I do feel like it's important to teach our kids too. I want to teach my kids that it's more about the thought, and anything you give can be loaded with thought- big or small. It's being remembered I think that's the most important, and not with crappy thrift store presents. There. Hope that helps :)

Tricia L said...

So, I realized that I never add to the discussion that I started. Ha. So, here it is, over a year later...my thoughts. My husband finds holidays totally annoying. He doesn't like giving gifts. What I honestly think it comes down to is that it really stresses him out trying to think of that perfect gift for someone, so in the end, he throws his hands up and says holidays are lame. He claims he'd rather give me little gifts throughout the year instead of on the designated days like my birthday, christmas, and mother's day. That would be great if he did that, but he doesn't even do that! Gift giving stresses me out too, but that's part of the fun - stretching my mind, trying to think of something unique and creative for someone. And when I see how happy they are, it totally makes up for all the stress. I love giving gifts, and I LOVE giving and receiving gifts on holidays. They're a day set aside JUST for celebrating, whether it's celebrating your life, your child's life, the amazingness of being a parent, the birth of Christ, or whatnot. Those are days that all of society recognizes and tries to make special too. While it would be nice to have special days any day you want, you have to face it, no one else will really understand and accommodate you for your made-up special day, so why not just celebrate on the day that's been designated and that everyone will accommodate? NOW...on to the kids side. Whether you like to celebrate or not, I feel it's very important to teach your kids to celebrate. It teaches them life lessons. For some examples: 1) Christmas: it's a time to teach kids the importance of giving. You can do that any day, but at Christmas time, it's much more impacting. Kids learn by example, and during that holiday, there is a huge abundance of people giving. That time is full of exemplary people. It will be much more memorable for a child. 2) Mother's/Father's day: It's important for children to celebrate their parent's and all that they've done for them. Whether you as a parent like to celebrate it or not, it's important for children to take that time and go above and beyond for their parents. If kids did that kind of stuff all of the time, it wouldn't feel so special, and we as parents would take it for granted. 3) Birthdays!: this is a time for children to feel important and special. It is a day all to themselves when ordinary rules are thrown out the window. They're allowed to be a little selfish with their new toys. They're allowed to let loose and have more fun than usual. It's a break from a lot of strict societal rules. It's also a time where they learn to celebrate the importance and amazingness that is life. I feel holidays are important. Sure, it's a time for stores to make money, but don't think about it that way. Think about it as a time to love a little more passionately and openly, let loose, give a little more, teach, learn, and celebrate!