Scripture Case Pattern

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Epidural woes

I've had bone pain in my back pretty much since I delivered.  I finally decided to go to my physical therapist to see what she thought.  Turns out the anesthesiologist must have hit a tiny blood vessel when putting in the epidural which caused me to bleed a little which then caused scar tissue to build up. Over 7 inches of my vertebrae is covered in scar tissue, which makes me feel bone pain. :(  After an hour and half of my PT working me over trying to break up some of the scar tissue, this is what my back looked like....15 hours later and it still looks the same. It's extremely swollen and even more sore than before.  This treatment better work.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Socially Awkward


   Have any of you seen Ghost Town with Ricky Gervais?  Pretty hilarious.  Ricky Gervais' character, Dr. Pincus, is pretty much the most socially awkward person ever.  I thought I was, but he definitely trumps me.  I was watching it the other night, thinking that I could be a lot worse, which was somewhat comforting.  

   You see, I have a problem.  It didn't use to be a problem of mine, but since I've gotten married, I've forgotten how to act in social situations, how to make friends or how to even carry on a conversation.  Family members, neighbors, church acquaintances, ect. are constantly falling victim to my extreme awkwardness, and to those of you who have had to suffer through it, I am terribly sorry. 

 It used to be so easy for me to make friends.  I knew how to carry on a conversation and make people feel comfortable and occasionally laugh.  Flash forward 5 years, and now I can clear a room in 2 minutes, or at least have people wishing they could leave. :(  Seriously.  It's pretty pathetic.  For some reason, I can't stand voids in a conversation, so against my better judgment, I say something to fill that void, and 9 times out of 10, it's with something extremely awkward/boring or with something that comes out completely wrong and I end up crying and fretting about it once I'm out of that person's presence.  No joke.  Ask Tim.  He'll vouch for me (it happens about twice a week).  I'll get home, be lying in the bed next to him, replaying what I said.  He'll laugh at me.  I'll laugh a little too, asking "why did I say that!?" or "why couldn't I have made that come out right?"  And then I'll cry because I feel completely embarrassed and awful for embarrassing, hurting, or just making someone feel uncomfortable (and usually someone that I adore and love and I just want to like me too) when my intentions were completely opposite or it was just because I have a problem with word vomit.  Yes, word vomit, like on Mean Girls (only one of the best movies ever).  In almost every conversation I have with people, I have a constant internal struggle over whether I should say something or not, and for some reason, when I really don't want to say anything, the words come tumbling out. It sucks.  Luckily the friends I made before this annoying problem cropped up laugh at me when I get a little awkward, which then allows me to laugh at myself and then the awkward situation fizzles out and I'm over it.  

I wish things were different.  It's been a goal of mine for a while now to fix this problem of mine...to learn how to socialize again, but  unfortunately, the problem is getting worse.  I'll start talking to someone (anyone) or they'll start talking to me and the anxiety starts.  I start worrying about making a fool out of myself by saying something wrong/stupid/lame.  The anxiety builds up and starts to manifest itself with me becoming awkward which then makes the other person feel awkward and uncomfortable which then makes me even more anxious and it just continues until they have enough guts to finally end the conversation and walk away.  

Help me, people!  How do I stop being so lame!?  How do I make friends again??  If you happen to become victim to my awkwardness, PLEASE laugh at me or call me out so I can then laugh at myself and get over my anxiety.  I promise it will be a win-win situation.  And I also promise I'm not a complete idiot or totally boring.  I can be quite fun occasionally.  Just give me a try...or five.

The geek in me can't help it


August 24, 2010!!
YAY!!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Love Affair

When I was at Sephora over Christmas break, a sales clerk walks up to me to see if I needed help.  I got a whiff of something deliciously juicy.  I couldn't help it.  I asked the clerk if I could lick her because she smelled so delicious.  She told me to go check out Juicy Couture's Viva La Juicy.  I've been obsessed ever since.  Last Friday, Tim surprised me with my very own bottle.  My life will never be the same.

Tim started to get a little jealous of Juicy's and my relationship, so to help even things out, I got Tim his own equivalent to Ms. Juicy.  In comes Dolce & Gabbana the one...mmmmmm. Tim smells incredibly hot and now has his own smelly obsession.  Cute.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Who knew...

that a catheter could also be used as makeshift tusks?

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

SUCCESS!...and other news

Every couple of weeks, I try on my old pants to see where I'm at. A week ago, I squeezed my fat butt into a pair and didn't care I was muffin-topping it, because just two weeks prior to that, I couldn't even get my thighs in them.  SUCCESS #1!  I wore them the whole week and by the end of the week, they were stretched out enough to fit me comfortably...bliss.  Today I tried on the rest of my size 6 jeans and have found that they're on the verge of being too big! SUCCESS #2!! A few+ more pounds and I will be back into my favorite size 4 jeans!...and will have reached my goal weight for Weight Watchers and be 6 weeks away from becoming a life time member so that I don't have to shell out the money again if I have another baby.  

I ended up getting that Vera Wang dress because they only had a few left.  I got it on Friday, tried it on, and it almost fits me perfectly!  Just a little weird through the hips, but I knew I had to be down to a certain weight before the dress would fit.  I'm determined to have it fit by Easter.  It WILL happen!

Getting back to a healthy, hot weight sucks...

OTHER news...


This little guy got blessed on Sunday.  I sure love this boy. He seriously is the sweetest baby. If he wants your attention, he'll smile and coo until you look at him and then he'll get the biggest smile and start kicking his legs.  He LOVES to snuggle, and when he snuggles...he actually snuggles.  None of this, "let me be on you in some way or other and wiggle and jump."  Oh man, do I love him!


Thursday, February 11, 2010

Valentines

Do yo know how hard it is to have an over exuberant 3 year old hold still and lift his arm up and hold it in place?  Well, it's pretty much impossible, hence his hand being down at the bottom of the picture. Because of that, I wasn't able to make another slit at the bottom of his hand to put the sucker through, so it's taped in place.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Praise Me!!

I weighed in at WW this morning and had lost a big whopping 5.2 lbs since last week!! WOOT!  Apparently, I wasn't eating enough to lose the weight I desired.  I was working out too hard and eating too little. Hm...  At least I'm losing now!  Just 5 lbs closer to getting my dress and hotness back.  Marvel in my amazingness.

On another note, I've been asked why I am so obsessed with boobs.  Well, it's very simple.  It's because I lack any.  I've always wondered what it would be like to look like a woman as opposed to a tween, especially while wearing swim suits and sweaters.  If I went by stores' measurements to figure out the size of dress I would need, I would need a size 1 or 2 for my chest and a 6 for my lower body.  How do you find a dress to fit that?...You don't, you just go get a boob job.

Me likey

found at nordstrom.com
I wish my boobs were that nice and big.  Maybe one day after I convince Tim to let me get a boob job. I'm sick of the 12 year olds at church having bigger boobs than me. :(

Monday, February 8, 2010

Getting my life back

For the past year couple years I stopped making evening dinners.  It was pretty much due to the fact that we were completely broke and just couldn't afford to have a nice dinner every night, so we either ate a sandwich, cereal, or went to my parents' house (thank you SO much, mom and dad!).  I've missed cooking.  I LOVE to cook.  Since I've had Kade and Tim started bringing in enough money so that we could buy groceries, I've wanted to get back into cooking.  I always get so stressed out every evening trying to figure out what to make.  Most of the time, I would just give up and resort back to sandwiches, cereal, or my parents.  Lame.  After seeing my sister-in-law's (Taryn) blog post about her weekly dinner menus, I decided that would be an excellent way to start getting more organized with my meals.  So, I made my own weekly meal chart (not as cute and fun as hers, but it gets the job done).
Under the "Ingredients Needed" column, Taryn writes down all the ingredients she needs to get for that recipe, so because I'm a copier, I do that too.  Under the "Meal" column, I write down the recipe name, the book that it's found in and the page number.  I've been doing this for the past 3 weeks and it's been WONDERFUL!  I've filled out meal charts for the next 5 weeks too and I go grocery shopping on either Friday or Saturday.  Since I've never done meal planning before, my grocery shopping trips have consisted of me throwing in the cart whatever looks like it could have potential for a good meal, which then always results in me either not using it for months or having to go out right as I'm beginning to make a meal and gather ingredients I didn't have.  I hate that.  SO...I made a grocery list template too.
In the little boxes to the left, I write a letter for whatever store I need to get that from.  For example: C= Costco, H= Harmons, W= Walmart, etc. I write down all the ingredients from the "Ingredients Needed" column onto my grocery list.  I love having my grocery list broken down into sections, so that when I go to the grocery store, I'm not running back and forth to different aisles and sections because I forgot to grab something from there.  My grocery shopping trips are averaging 30 minutes now (including the 10 minutes it takes to go through the checkout line) as opposed to an hour or so.  It's been WONDERFUL!  Thank you, Taryn, for indirectly helping me get my life back in order, or more like getting it in order for the first time ever. I appreciate it.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

How DARE you waste my powdered gold!

Tim spilled a little bit (like 1/8 of a teaspoon worth) of the powder formula on the counter this evening.  I hurried and swept it into my hand put back in the can.  He looked at me like I was crazy.  I informed him that this stuff is practically gold...at least that's what I feel like I'm buying since it's so expensive ($26 per can that lasts us 4 days...pretty much the price of gold). That got Tim wondering what that formula would cost if it really were gold. Well, it would be a little over $15,000. So, I guess it could be worse.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Dear Tim,

When I lose my desired amount of weight, will you please buy me this little Vera Wang number?

Thank you. I love you. You're the best.

Love,
Your Soon To Be Hot and Skinny Healthy Wife

I caved...

I did it...I joined Weight Watchers again.  I did it after I had Gavin and lost 34 pounds. I got below my pre-pregancy weight and got back to my pre-birth control weight.  My body likes to find any reason to gain weight while my mind is trying to find every way to lose it.  :( I got on birth control a few months before I got married and almost instantly put on 20 pounds...before the wedding...after I got fitted for my wedding dress...awesome.  So, I've been able to lose 10 pounds on my own with just diet and exercise and have kinda plateaued so I tried doing Weight Watchers on my own at home, but kept failing.  I kept coming up with lame excuses for eating things I shouldn't or not eating enough of anything because I'm too scared to consume any calories for fear it will make me gain (when I don't eat enough, my body also holds onto anything I do eat and therefore gains weight...see! Told you...my body finds ANY reason to gain weight.  I lose.), so I decided I needed to throw a bunch of money into it so that I'll be more accountable for my weight gain/loss.  Do you know how hard it is to eat that much food?  On the scale, I can see that eating more is helping me lose weight, but it is a mental struggle for me to consume all that food.  Obviously not consuming enough wasn't helping.  But still...food scares me and has led to some not so healthy/good lifestyles that I'm still fighting. I need to get over that.  So far, so good, though.  I only have a little bit to lose anyways...nothing compared to the 34 pounds I had to lose after Gavin.  So hopefully by my birthday, (crossing my fingers for sooner than that, though), I'll be back to my normal size and be able to go buy a lot of hot clothes for my new hot body and have a super hot birthday.  It's all about being hot...oh, and healthy.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Let me reiterate...

Pioneer Woman is A.MAZ.ING.  Seriously.  And her cookbook? Don't even get me started.  It's full of perfection.  Her cinnamon rolls are probably the closest to heaven you'll ever get.  They literally melt in your mouth.  I didn't know cinnamon rolls had the ability to do that, but her's do.  Her peach cobbler with maple sauce...well...I could just eat the maple sauce and be completely satisfied.  I've made probably half of the recipes so far in the book and have yet to be disappointed.  Everything is so simple and so delicious and it's pretty much fail proof since she has step-by-step pictures.  Her website is loaded with even more deliciousness.  Please, people, I beg you...buy her book.  You will become a believer of what we call The Pioneer Woman aka Ree Drummond, and you probably will never turn back.  It's pretty much a given, that if you make anything of her's, it will be incredible.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Mmmmmm...medicine...

This is one happy baby now!  After having a scary night at the hospital (at one point, his oxygen levels dropped to 80% and his lips started turning blue), the doctor got him on some medicine! YAY!  His RSV turned into pneumonia and he ended up with an ear and eye infection also.  Soon after starting the antibiotics, he was like a whole new baby.  He started interacting with us again, eating, sleeping, breathing...EVERYTHING!   Never again will I have a winter baby.  These sicknesses are just too much.  Oh, and I guess this is what we get for thinking that we'll have semi healthy children and changing our insurance plan over to the high deductible plan. Ha.  We reached our deductible in one visit.  At least Kade is free for the rest of the year and we've basically reached the family deductible.

P.S. I love Lost :)

Monday, February 1, 2010

:(

So cute, but so sad...  This little guy has RSV.  3 of the 4 doctors at Primary Children's Hospital that looked at his x-rays thought he had pneumonia, but luckily the Radiologist was positive it wasn't.  His boogers were tested and came back positive for RSV, though.  At least he doesn't have to be hospitalized like he would have been if it was pneumonia.  We do have to go in 4+ times a day to the Respiratory Outpatient Clinic to get his vitals taken and nasal cavities cleared so he doesn't end up getting pneumonia.  If it's not one thing, it's another with this little guy.  My poor baby.