Scripture Case Pattern

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

My thoughts...

First off, I enjoyed New Moon. I thought it was A LOT better than Twilight. Robert and Kristen's acting was much more bearable. They still had their annoying moments, but overall, it was better.

Here are some things that totally bugged me or made me want to vomit. First up... Robert Pattinson's sicknast body. Um...it's totally obvious his abs are airbrushed on. His chest was more nonexistent than mine (and that is definitely saying something) and 13 year old boy chest hair is just gross. He is so far from manly, attractive, a heartthrob, or anything else along those lines. His arms are less defined than my 3 year old's. Does he intentionally go out of his way to do everything possible to not build muscle? Shouldn't daily living with the help of mother earth's gravitational field give him some type of definition?
Next up...the kiss in this scene is a little...well...um...awkward and gross. My friend warned me that during one of their kisses, they make sounds as if they're doing it. I thought that it would be some hot, steamy kiss. No, it was a short, uncomfortable kiss where those noises totally don't fit. I think they were supposed to be kind of crying or something, but it was just weird and I couldn't help but giggle.
This frolicking scene was so cheesy. Many in the audience giggled at the cheesiness. I'm surprised Robert had the strength to run with Kristen. I'm glad I've never seen his legs. He's probably got terrible chicken legs with sick, splotchy hair on them.
This underwater scene was just weird. It wasn't romantic or sweet at all. It was just weird. They both looked like corpses. This was totally portrayed wrong.
Rosalie's wig was HIDEOUS! It couldn't look more fake! I'd take the brown roots from Twilight any day over this wig. She makes a terrible Rosalie anyway. But...Jacob...mmmmm...he's perfection.
Maybe Robert needs to take some lessons from Taylor on how to portray your character accurately and on how to get a hot bod. Isn't Edward suppose to have a body like Taylor's? On a different note, I thought Taylor did a wonderful job being Jacob! He got all the emotions across and he made me Team Jacob all over again (not that I have ever been anything other than Team Jacob, but he reminded me again of why I love him more than Edward. Edward's a creep.)
Taylor and Kristen did a great job together. Their relationship is so much more believable and natural on screen than the Kristen-Robert relationship.
Even though this is a lame picture of Kristen, it's the only one I could find of just her in it. I thought she looked so pretty in this movie! Her hair and makeup were so much better!

Overall, I liked the movie. New Moon is my favorite book of the series and it will probably be my favorite movie of the series too. Maybe because there isn't much of RPatz in it. If he wasn't so brooding and scrawny, I'd probably like him better.

7 comments:

the MuLLinS said...

Okay can I just say that I have never read the books, I HATED the first movie and haven't seen the second yet, but this post made me laugh so hard! You're hilarious.

mizkylie said...

I agree with ALL of the above!! My favorite book was Eclipse. I am so excited for it! Bella annoys the hell out of me and throughout the whole move was panting like a dog!

Ali said...

LOL! I agree with everything you said. I wish Bella would stop breathing so hard out of her nose and Edward looks as if he's ready for Hospice. I was disappointed when she had to go to Italy to save Edward and the story I love had to end. Great movie though!

tamir said...

I agree, the book NM was my fav too...well actually now BD is. But I enjoyed your critique of the movie. So funny. Haven't seen it yet though! How did you manage to get out and go!?

Katie said...

I like how you posted the air brushed abs that I told you about. I'm glad you agree with me cause they looked hideous and that's all I could think about the entire time he had his shirt off...and well, the hairy chest too. And just as a side note, frolicking through the woods she be banned for everyone, especially for vampires who don't frolic.

Whitney said...

Couldn't agree more. Taylor makes Jacob. His body is so hot and yes, that's what Rob is supposed to make Edward look like! Greek Adonis come to life, not a scrawny 20-something with airbrushed ugly abs. Oh, did you notice the airbrushing on the wolf pack?? Um, hi, the kid that plays Jared has a pooch with his abs. How does that work?

Courtney said...

I agree with everything you said. I was definitely laughing during parts of the movie. Why doesn't RP just workout some? And why during the scenes with Bella and Edward don't they make any eye contact, it is weird. It was a much better movie than the first though, and it totally makes you love Jacob more.