Scripture Case Pattern

Monday, November 9, 2009

4 AM...whaaaatt??

In 2 1/2 hours I will be calling the hospital to see what time they want me to come in and I have yet to sleep a wink. I'm freaking out maybe just a little. I'm stressed and annoyed over everything and everyone...probably even you. Sorry, but it's most likely the truth. Blame it on the baby, because I sure can't be held accountable for my feelings. I feel completely out of control with my emotions. I feel so bad for all my family members (in-laws and all) and friends that are suffering in the wake of my awfulness! I'M SORRY!! The anxiety I'm feeling is driving me to some kind of madness...I've yet to figure out what kind, but it's a madness of sorts. I'm terrified out of my mind to have this baby. I'm so sad that my last week with just Gavin and me was not a very good week. Gavin must be sensing a huge change is near because he has done nothing but act out this entire week. I'm sad that I'm leaving on such a sad note. I wanted to snuggle with him and laugh and play, but instead it was a constant battle of the wills with him. :( I love that kid. I am SO sad that I can't share the birth of his new baby brother with him in the hospital...that I have to wait 3 days before I get to introduce them. This sucks. I'm already missing Gavin and I haven't even left for the hospital. I love my boy and I'm so afraid that I'll have a hard baby and have a hard time loving him as much as I love Gavin. THIS IS A STUPID POST AND I'M TOTALLY ANNOYED WITH IT AND MYSELF! AH! Feelings suck.

7 comments:

Charlotte said...

It's all going to work out! One good thing is that Gavin won't remember any of this! =) Also, newborns take lots of naps. There is still time for lots of individual snuggle time.

Grant and Taryn Layton said...

We love you! Good luck with everything. I can't wait to see the little man :)

the MuLLinS said...

Tricia, I hope that everything turns out SO WELL that you will feel so silly for ever worrying about all of this! I hope this delivery is a piece of PIE and you are so incredibly happy with your new sweet baby and you will be BLOWN AWAY with how well Gavin adapts to life as a big brother! We love you and are praying for you and your awesome little family. Can't wait to see and hear all about it! Love on that new little man for me!!

mizkylie said...

I LOVE YOUR ORNERY-NESS!!! YOu have been great T....you are such an awesome human!! Good Luck Today and I will be thinking of you and also thinking, "PUUUUUUUSH"....I am sure I will have sympathy pain as well in my nether regions for you too!! Love you T!!

Lindsay said...

Oh man, I'm scared - the second baby sounds stressful! I hope you are feeling good today and the labor goes well! I can't wait to see you new little man! He will be a doll for sure! So fun! Good luck!

Terri said...

Sigh. It will soon be over. Gavin will be fine. He has lots of people to help him adjust. It is sad that he can't come to the hospital, but all will be well.

Allie said...

I just read this and man....I remember feeling the exact same way when I had Jaxon. I cried on the way to the hospital because I was so worried about loving the next one as much, leaving JAdyn, ect.! Same feelings as you. Glad to see things turned out much better than you were thinking with labor....what about that lactation nurse....was she there? :)