Scripture Case Pattern

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Who said...

Pregnancy is beautiful?? They must have never been pregnant, because I sure ain't beautiful during pregnancy. How can anyone still look beautiful with an extra 90 pounds of fat hanging all over them? Personally, I have never felt more unattractive than I do when I'm pregnant. During my pregnancy with Gavin, I was so embarassed of my appearance that I barely let family see me pregnant. I think Tim's family only saw me once before I gave birth. This time around, they've been unfortunate enough to see me many times...I'm sorry. I see my sister-in-laws, and get insanely jealous of their hot, tight bods and I wish longfully that one day I may be somewhat skinny again so I don't feel like THIS around them. I just want my body back!! I hate sharing...is that ok?
I also get insanely depressed during pregnancy. I don't think the enormous amount of weight I tend to gain helps at all. I can't help but think "why me??" Why did the Lord tell Tim and me that it was time to start having babies only after a few months of marriage? Why couldn't we just enjoy being together for a few years before getting pregnant? I was only 20! Come on! Why can all my friends wait years before conceiving, but Tim and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that having a child was what we needed to do right then whether we were ready or not? Don't get me wrong, I totally am obsessed with Gavin and couldn't see life without him, but sometimes I can't help but think how much easier things would be for Tim and me if we had two incomes, or how much closer we might be if we had that newly wed time together instead of me being too preoccupied with having my head hanging over the toilet. I've been coming to the realization that Tim and I need to figure out how to have fun together around having a family. We need to make sure that we take the time for eachother instead of focusing every second of every day on Gavin and the upcoming baby. We need to make our marriage our first priority.
I need a talent too. My only talent can't be making babies...there has to be more. I need to figure out something that I can do, do it well and enjoy it while I'm at it. I'm so bored with my life right now. Making babies is BORING! Blah...
Those are my thoughts, and now I'm done.

5 comments:

the MuLLinS said...

Aww Tricia, I feel ya babe. I hear women talk about how much they loved being pregnant and they still miss it yadda yadda yadda... I'm like MAN I must be a horrible person because I do NOT love this and I will NEVER miss it! Period! End of discussion! Glad to know I'm not the only one. I really don't think you look fat though, really, I don't. I know that probably doesn't help, but I'd like you to know that I don't see anything hideous about the way you look. I have seen some hideous pregnant people and YOU? Are not one of them. But I think you are right about one thing: take time for you and Tim! Have you ever left Gavin with your parents for a weekend? Seriously, the best times of our marriage so far have been when we left Thatcher with my parents and have had a weekend just to ourselves to do all those fun things that we can't do with a kiddo around, but that made us fall in love in the first place. Geeze, I'm writing you a novel. Well, you're not far! The end is in sight! You can do it Tricia :) Love you!

Charlotte said...

Definitely don't miss being pregnant, but am amazingly nostalgic about never having a little baby again! You need a talent? Are you kidding me? What about cooking and sewing. I know you don't feel like doing them right now, but you are talented and this really won't last forever!!

Lindsay said...

Whatever - you are so talented. But I do feel your pain - pregnancy is rough. Hang in there, just a few short months left, right? You are amazing! You can do it!

Tim and Lara said...

ok seriously, this probably won't help because I know as women we are never happy with the way that we look, but I think you look great! You don't look bad or abnormal at all! I am prego as well (only 15 1/2 weeks) but already i don't think it's wonderful(besides that fact that I get a baby) and I CERTAINLY do NOT feel beautiful! Ha! It's miserable, but you are so close to being done and you make beautiful children! Still don't know what ours will look like! Eek!;)

REYNOLDS FAMILY said...

k so I totally relate to EVERYTHING you just said! I loooove my kids but seriously they can take a toll on EVERYTHING..furniture, relationships, your SANITY, you wallet. We do have to remember they are blessings and it's like that song "you're gonna miss this" one day we'll look back and wish they were still little! I have the BEST homeopathic doctor if you want his # let me know, he isn't too expensive and he gave me some serotonin drops and I am FINALLY starting to feel like myself! You look fabulous prego I think we feel like S*&# so we assume that's exactly how we look but every mom relates and I think people that say pregnancy makes you glow is a QUACK because the only glowing I did was my greesy forehead from sweating with all that extra weight. I'm sorry you are having a hard time, things will change when you hold this precious little boy in your arms!!! Can't wait to see pictures!